


Family

by Connorperry42



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Diapers, Pacifier - Freeform, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:37:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6604174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Connorperry42/pseuds/Connorperry42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The destroyer wasn’t allowed to be weak. Steven wasn’t allowed to be weak. But it was OK for Connor to be weak wasn't it? She had said it was. If she said it was that made it OK right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Life. It’s supposed to be good, happy, wonderful. The freedom to make your own destiny, to find your own way. Life is incredible. For most.

Not his life. Not the life of the destroyer.

He didn’t have the luxury to create a destiny, he didn’t have the luxury of freedom. The destroyer had his destiny made for him long before he was born and it wasn’t one of happiness or goodness. It was one of pain and suffering.

He did everything he could. He tried to be good as father had said but he never could succeed. It always led to punishment but even those couldn’t fix him. Nothing could fix him. Nothing could make him good. Nothing could make the world a better place for him, a nicer place to him.

For he destroyed demons to keep the world safe and, in turn, the world destroyed him.

The world wasn’t nice about it’s destruction either. When he destroyed something he was nice, did it quick. The world however took it’s sweet time in destroying him. It toyed with him, dangled hope in front of his eyes and then yanked it away, laughing the entire time.

The world was cruel but he defended it. Where was the logic in that?

Life was good. Once. For all of three months. Then Angel kicked him out.

He didn’t understand. He had told that man – Wesley – why he had sunk Angel to the bottom of the sea. He hadn’t had a choice. He had feared for the others safety and couldn’t bring himself to kill Angel. After he’d refused to avenge Holtz Justine had showed him pictures of the team, with Wesley. Connor had never seen Wesley. Justine said she’d slit his throat and would kill the others if he didn’t help her.

Connor hadn’t believed it. No one could get past Angel to someone he cared about. He’d asked Cordelia about a man he’d seen in pictures with glasses and short hair. Cordelia had said that he wasn’t around anymore.

So, to save the others, Connor had helped Justine sink Angel to the bottom of the ocean. After the deed was done and they were back to shore, Justine had climbed into her car, threw a slip of paper with an address on it at Connor, and sped off.

It had taken Connor a week to find the address. He was floored when he saw the man from the pictures standing before him.

The man had recognized him. He had explained the circumstances and the man had said he’d take care of it himself. The man had sent him back to the Hyperion with strict instructions to not let the others find out. Connor had obeyed.

When Angel came back Connor had been prepared to beg for forgiveness. He hadn’t been prepared for rejection and abandonment. Shows how stupid he was.

Still, he had kept some hope. It had taken him almost a full week before he was willing to test that hope however.

Amazingly, it had worked. She hadn’t turned him away. She had listened to him and sat with him as she had during those three months. She had comforted him and made him feel wanted, at least by someone.

Then Cordelia had returned. She had pretended to care for him, love him, then she went running back to Angel. Everyone chose Angel over him. Everyone but her. He truly cared for her.

For once, he’d thought that the world had given him someone to make up for all the pain it had caused. Oh how cruel a joke the world could tell.

He had gone their tonight, to see her. It didn’t matter that others were there still, didn’t matter that he might be seen, he’d just wanted to see her. He’d wanted her to hold him and tell him that everything would be alright. He didn’t get what he wanted.

He had walked into the lobby. Lorne was passed out and taped to the circular couch in the lobby. Gunn was out cold behind the counted, he could hear the man’s breathing. Cordelia, Angel and Wesley seemed to be sparing somewhere upstairs. And then there was her.

She was standing in the middle of the lobby watching Lorne. She turned when she heard him open the door.

As soon as he saw her he’d said it. The one word he’d been holding back but had wanted to say so desperately.

“Mom”

It had come out more like a cry than a word. A pain filled cry that was bordering on a sob. He knew it was weak. The destroyer wasn’t allowed to be weak. Steven wasn’t allowed to be weak.

But Connor was. She had said that before. Many times before. It was OK for Connor to be weak. It was OK because Connor had someone who would take care of him when he was weak. Someone who would look after him.

She had looked at him. Confused and scared. When she spoke it wasn’t the words he’d wanted to hear. “I’m not your mother.”

He’d known it was coming. He had expected it hundreds of times, every time he’d gone to see her he’d expected it. It still hurt when it came though. Rejection always hurt.

He didn’t have time to feel sorry for himself though. A scream came ripping through the building. It was Cordelia’s scream.

They had lost their memories. Made sense. Didn’t take the pain away though.

He had hung around. They all thought he was there for Cordelia. He wasn’t. He thought that maybe she knew, maybe she understood why he was still there. She didn’t say though. She did look at him, with pleading eyes, sorrowful eyes. He walked out the door.

As much as he wanted to, as much as he knew he should, he didn’t leave the area. He doubled back and snuck in a fifth story window to the room they always meet at. She was there. He didn’t know if he wanted her to be.


	2. Chapter 2

She looked at him, at her boy. He hadn’t started out that way but that’s what he’d become. He was hers.

When he’d first been born she’d spent very little time with him. She hadn’t minded, he wasn’t hers then, he was Angel’s – and Cordelia’s. They were the perfect little family. That was then, this is now. He was her’s now.

He was her’s and she had screwed up.

She hadn’t known back then, what he would mean to her. She had been in over her head after Angel disappeared. Angel was gone, Cordelia was gone, Lorne had left, Wesley wasn’t one of them anymore and she had been left the one in charge.

With Gunn and her it was easy, they were a couple and relied on each other. Gunn didn’t take to Connor too well though. Connor was brash and impulsive and didn’t care what Gunn had to say. It didn’t help that Gunn was demanding and impatient. Those two always butted heads. She chalked it up to the fact that when they first met Connor had knocked Gunn on his ass.

So she had tried to make nice between Connor and Gunn. It kept the peace, if only just. And then she’d stayed out of the boy’s way.

A week and a half after Angel vanished and she heard Connor call out in his sleep while walking past his room. She had woken him, soothed him, and coaxed him back to sleep.

She had never been upset about not really getting to know Connor as a baby. He wasn’t hers and she wasn’t the mother type. She had gotten to know Connor now. He was hers and she was the mother type. And he’d finally called her mom. And she’d screwed up.

She hadn’t meant to screw up. She hadn’t known who he was when she’d said it. She had been under the influence of a spell, didn’t remember anything past high school. She hadn’t remembered the most important person in her life.

Yes. She loved Gunn and he was extremely important to her but he didn’t top Connor. Gunn could never top her son. And No. Connor wasn’t hers by blood but he was hers and there was no one who would ever be able to convince her otherwise.

As soon as her memory came back she could have screamed. He’d finally done it! He’d finally said that word. That one word she’d been desperate for him to say for months now. He’d said it and she’d rejected him. She’d crushed him.

As soon as he’d left she’d gone up to the room – their room. The room she had found him in a week or so after Angel had thrown him out. It had shocked her at first - that he’d been here. She had come up here because she’d missed him.

This had used to be their study room. When she had initially suggested learning Connor had been hesitant. It had taken her a while to get out of him why he didn’t want to.

Holtz was from a time where children were taught at home, by their parents. He had taken up the gauntlet with Connor only then he’d been known as Steven and had been thoroughly beaten for every wrong answer. She had promised that she would never do that. Mistakes were OK; you had to get things wrong before you got them right. He’d eventually agreed.

The first time he’d gotten an answer wrong had been on the third day. He’d flinched; she’d felt like crying at the fear on his face. The sad thing was, the fear didn’t have anything to do with the pain he thought he’d soon be receiving but because he thought he’d let her down. He was scared of disappointing her.

Now she’d been the one to disappoint him.

“Connor”

She’d breathed the word as a sigh of relief and guilt. She was relieved that he’d come but guilty at what she’d done.

He stared at her, unsure. She didn’t know what to say to make it all better. But she’d try.

“Oh Connor I am so sorry”

She rushed forward with her arms out.

“I didn’t know. I was under a spell. I didn’t remember. I never would have said those things.”

She rambled. She wasn’t sure if what she was saying even penetrated. He let her hug him though so she took it as a step forward.

He was stiff under her grasp. She knew he would be. She hadn’t thought that he would have even let her touch him so she wasn’t going to complain.

Eventually the rambling stopped. It was then that he broke apart and stepped away.

“I’m sorry”

He’d said it so simply. As though everything was his fault. As though he was the one who’d screwed up.

She couldn’t allow him to think something like that.

“No baby”

She pulled him towards her again, running her hand through the back of his hair.

“It was my fault. It was all my fault. You have done nothing wrong.”

That had been the wrong thing to say. Or… maybe it had been the right thing. He started talking then. Telling her things that he had done ‘wrong’ in the past.

He told her about many times he’d gotten an answer wrong while Holtz was teaching him and the subsequent beatings he’d received. How he knew that Holtz was a bad person but he couldn’t stop him, couldn’t stop the beatings because then he would have been all-alone. All alone in a hell dimension full of unimaginable horrors. He told her of the time that it had taken him twenty-three days to untie himself and track Holtz down. He’d received five broken bones for that. He had only been six but he blamed himself.

Finally he’d told her of Justine, Holtz and dumping Angel in the ocean. How it was his fault and he deserved to be kicked out. To be abandoned. He was the destroyer. He destroyed the demons and evil and the world destroyed him.

He was crying when he was done. She couldn’t take it. It killed her to see him so destroyed.

“Baby no, no. None of that is your fault. None of it.”

“Yes it is” He sobbed out.

She shushed him. She held him close and rocked him.

He cried.

She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there with him in her arms and she didn’t care. She would have stood there all night if that’s what he needed. He was hers and she would take care of him.

Suddenly there was a heavy weight in her arms and she started to falter.

Right before she found a way to manage the weight – for she could, she’d done it before - there was suddenly nothing holding her down. She looked up.

Angel was holding her son in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Cordelia had gotten her memories back she’d run.

He’d followed.

He had to know, after she’d brought it up, he had to know if they had been in love. He knew that he had loved her, still did. But had she loved him?

Apparently – she had. But she didn’t any longer.

He’d let her go, gone back to the lobby to help clean up. Connor was gone already, big surprise there. Fred was gone too but then she’d been weird ever since the thing with her former professor.

Wesley and Gunn weren’t looking at each other as they cleaned the lobby. Lorne though was contemplating something. Curiously he moved away from the uncomfortable cleaning and towards the brooding demon.

“What’s up?”

Lorne turned and looked at him. His eyes widened for a second before he cleared his throat.

“Well it’s just that I heard something while I was coming to…”

“What?” What could possibly be so bad? “Is there something wrong?”

“No” Lorne hurried to assure. “It’s just not something I think you want to hear”

“What is it?” he bit out. This was ridiculous.

Lorne looked nervous. More so than usual. The green man rushed through the rest.

“Your kid called Fred ‘Mom’”

He froze.

“What?”

It was choked out. He couldn’t believe it.

Lorne hesitated but spoke slower, “Your son… he called Fred… ‘Mom’”

Angel saw red. Why the hell would his kid call Fred… It just shouldn’t happen. He turned on his heel and stormed out after his son’s scent.

The scent followed out of the hotel and then around the back. He went through the window to the room next door to where he heard voices. At first it was Fred apologizing. Well that was fine. Fred should be apologizing.

He wanted to interrupt but he was fascinated by the conversation, especially when Connor started talking.

He’d never heard his son talk so openly about what Holtz had done. He wanted to raise the man from the dead and kill him over and over for what Holtz had done to Connor.

When Connor started going over what the boy had done to Angel though, that caught the man’s attention.

He listened as his son talked about finding Holtz dead, how his son had known it wasn’t Angel, how even if it was it didn’t matter because Holtz was an ass. It disturbed him to know that his son hadn’t cared to avenge Holtz’s death. He’d thought that’s why Connor had sunk him to the bottom of the sea. In truth the boy had merely been trying to save as many as possible.

He wracked his brain trying to remember who it was that told him Connor had sunk him to the bottom of the ocean as revenge?

Justine.

It had been Justine who had told him the story. He’d asked Wesley for confirmation but the man had refused to answer. Wesley had told him to ask Connor for himself.

He hadn’t.

He’d assumed that Justine had told the truth and that Connor hated him. He’d been wrong. He was an ass.

The sound of Connor’s distressed sobs broke him out of his self-loathing. He stepped into the room and had to hold in the instinct to rip Fred’s throat out.

She was standing there holding his son in her arms. She was soothing his son. She was comforting his son. She was rocking his son side to side.

The second his son dropped off to sleep he darted forward and caught the boy in his arms. He picked him up and held him tight while he stared at her.

“Angel” She’d breathed, surprised.

“Fred” he’d bit out.

To Fred’s credit she pushed her shock away quickly. He watched as she moved towards the twin bed and pulled the covers down. She gestured but he didn’t move.

“Angel” He looked at her, “He needs to be in a bed.”

A bed. Connor needed a bed. Made sense. Why hadn’t he thought of it?

He laid his son on the bed and started to pull the covers up. She stopped him.

“He needs to be changed into pajamas.”

She’d said it so simply. It made perfect sense. He hadn’t even taken Connor’s shoes off!

He’d stood back as she’d worked, moving around his son as though she’d been doing it her whole life. Maybe she’d done this before? He didn’t know. He should know.

“What are you doing?”

She stopped and stood up, holding a white item in her hands. She sighed, “He has really bad nightmares. Sometimes he wets the bed”

He’d opened his mouth in an ‘oh’ gesture but didn’t make a sound.

How did she know this? Why didn’t he? He should know this. Connor was his son after all.

Still he’d stood back; let her finish changing Connor’s bottom half. When she took off Connor’s shirt he’d gasped.

“What the hell happened to him?”

She turned again; her eyes were cold “I’d say at least some of this was from your little fight earlier.”

He’d turned away, ashamed. “I didn’t know”

She didn’t reply. She put the pajama top on Connor and then held a pacifier to the boy’s mouth. He was certain that Connor wouldn’t take it; the boy was eighteen. And yet, in the blink of an eye it was bobbing in Connor’s mouth. She’d smiled sadly and took a step back.

“You can cover him up now” She’d offered.

He’d stepped forward eagerly. Slowly he pulled the covers up around his son securely. Once done he’d stepped back to look at his boy; his adorable little boy; only the boy wasn’t so little anymore.

She’d stepped forward again and reached under the bed. Suddenly there were railings coming up, they were short, like what one would find on a toddler bed. They clicked into place and then she repeated the process on the other side.

“What?”

“He rolls around in his sleep” She’d explained. “Sometimes he even gets up, these stop him - usually.”

He’d nodded.

They both stood there, watching Connor sleep for a while. He never wanted to take his eyes off his son. The boy looked so little laying there, sucking lightly on the pacifier.

The pacifier that Fred had put in his mouth. Fred. The woman that his son had called ‘Mom’.

“We need to talk.”

He turned and walked away knowing that she would follow.


	4. Chapter 4

She was nervous. She shouldn’t be. This was Angel they were talking about. But she was. Maybe she should be. This was Angel’s son they were talking about.

Only… Connor wasn’t Angel’s son. Not anymore. Connor was her son. Connor was her son and she would protect him to the end.

She wasn’t nervous anymore.

She grabbed the baby monitor off the nightstand and turned it on, taking it with her. The other half was under the bed. She’d know if her son woke up or needed her.

Angel led to the room next door. She shook her head, “This is too close. We might wake him”

Angel nodded and moved down another floor and over five more rooms. This would do.

She waited for him to start things off. She knew he would.

“What the hell is going on?” He growled out.

He was mad. She knew he would be if… well really when, he ever found out.

“I don’t understand.”

She was feigning ignorance. He knew she was. She could see it in his eyes.

“Don’t play games with me.”

She sighed. Might as well, no sense in dragging it out.

“I just tucked my son into bed.”

He growled, “Connor is not your son. He’s my son.”

She scoffed.

“Got something to say?” He challenged.

She shouldn’t have risen to the bait. She should have kept her mouth shut. But she’d just watched her little boy cry his eyes out because his father didn’t love him. Because that’s where it ended, that’s where it always ended. They’d been through this before. She had just held her boy as he’d cried himself to sleep and she couldn’t stay quiet now.

She rose to the challenge.

“He’s not your son. He was your son. Now he’s mine and unlike you, I don’t plan on letting him go. Ever.”

“I’ve never let him go…”

“You kicked him out!”

“He dumped me in the bottom of the ocean for three months!”

“You know why he did that! You just heard why he did that!”

“I didn’t know that then! If I had…”

“What? If you had what? You wouldn’t have done anything different!”

“I never would have thrown him out! I never would have blamed him!”

“You shouldn’t have to begin with! You even told him you didn’t!”

“I…” He froze, confused, “I never said that.”

“Connor told me what you said. When he was sealing you in that box.” She could see him trying to remember, trying to figure it out. “You told him that you loved him. That you were his father and would always love him. That you didn’t blame him. That one day he would blame himself and that he shouldn’t because it wasn’t his fault.”

His eyes widened. She could see when the memory came back to him. He opened his mouth to say something but she didn’t care.

“Did you know that he actually thought you would listen to him, that you would keep your word. That you would still love him. When you kicked him out he was crushed. Do you want to know the worst part though?”

“What could be worse?” he chocked out.

“He blamed himself.”

Angel was shaking his head. She knew the feeling; she’d felt it before though nowhere near the same degree.

She didn’t have any sympathy for him. She might have before but not now.

“What did you do though? The second after you threw your son out of the only place in this world he was familiar with? You asked where Cordelia was and vowed to get her back.”

“I didn…”

“Yes. You did. You even spent the rest of the next three months doing nothing but looking for Cordelia. Do you know what my son was doing?”

Angel growled, “He’s my son”

“No he’s mine. He tried to be yours but you ignored every attempt he made.”

“He never made an attempt” Angel argued.

“He came by every single week. Every week he walked through the front door and tried to talk to you and every week you were too focused on finding Cordelia.”

“I don’t remember that” Angel admitted. “Well… the one time…”

“That one time was the first time. After that you never came out of your office.”

She knew it was true. She had been the one to greet Connor. The one to go knock on Angel’s office door. The one to meet her son upstairs after the boy had left the building.

“I never meant to…”

“I don’t care what you meant to do” she was cold now; this was her son. “That boy was raised in a hell dimension, abused mentally and physically by the only other person there and had to put up with it because if something ever happened to Holtz then he would be alone. A boy that punched his way into this world, whose first act outside these walls was to protect someone in need and then managed to make a friend. A friend who he found dead not twelve hours later and then he had to go through a firefight only to end up back with Holtz. A boy who had refused to seek vengeance for Holtz’ death and only attacked you after the rest of us were threatened with death. A boy who, once he knew the truth, went to find help to rescue you and was thrown out of his home for his troubles. A boy who you cut down every single week when you ignored him in favor of Cordelia. A boy who would cry on my shoulder until he fell asleep and I tucked him in.”

She had started out fuming but now her voice was coming out barely above a whisper.

“He’s not your son anymore Angel, he’s mine. And he’s moving back in.”

With her piece said she turned and stormed out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

He stood there stunned, he wasn’t sure for how long. He had just been told off.

By Fred!

Fred who was the quietest, nicest person he knew had just screamed at him and then claimed his son as her own.

He marched out of the room and back up to the fifth floor and six rooms over.

Opening the door without a sound he smiled softly at the sleeping bundle curled up on the bed. The boy looked so small. He couldn’t remember the last time his son had looked that small.

Not wanting to disturb his little boy he slipped into the room and sat on a chair next to the bed.

Looking at his son filled him with joy, peace and anxiety. What the hell made him think he could raise a child! A baby! He had failed, obviously, and yet he had tried again. And he’d failed again.

Could he really do this? Should he try?

Connor gave a small whimper in his sleep and turned over. The pacifier started bobbing a little faster and then suddenly Angel heard it, and smelled it.

He didn’t know if he should smile or frown. After all Connor was eighteen years old. Yet, the boy was still his baby, not even supposed to be more than a year old. So it was alright. Wasn’t it?

The answer didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change what had happened nor what he needed to do.

He stood up and slid over to the boy. It took a couple minutes of searching but eventually he found the needed supplies under the bathroom sink. Coming back into the room he hesitated. How had Fred raised the bars again? Reaching his hand under the bed he slid them around until he felt the latches, one on each end. He lowered the bars on one side and then removed the covers from around his son.

The next few moments were filled with Angel doing something he’d never thought he’d get to do again. It filled him with pain, remorse, hope, and comfort all at one time.

Once he righted his son’s clothing he paused. He could tuck the boy back in and raise the bars or…

There must have been some type of time skip because before he knew what had happened he was in his own room, in the rocking chair, bottle in hand and boy in lap. How had that happened? Why had he grabbed a bottle? With formula?

It was routine. This is what he used to do with his son. Before everything happened. Before his world was turned upside down.

He must have just done it out of habit. He’d always fed his son after a change. He had just changed his son so it only made sense that he’d make the boy a bottle. His son was too big for a bottle though. Wasn’t he?

Connor should be too big for a diaper and yet he had just changed the boy. Connor should be too big to be rocked and yet here he was rocking his son. And Connor was so skinny, he could count the ribs on the boy’s chest, they stuck out like soar thumbs.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt. To feed Connor the bottle. It was formula, it would be more filling than basic milk.

He hesitated for a minute longer before bringing the nipple up to his son’s mouth. Part of him hoped that the boy would turn away but part of him hoped that he’d latch on. It was only once the nipple of the bottle came into contact with plastic that he realized his mistake.

After the pacifier was removed he put the bottle back to his son’s lips. It was amazing how quickly Connor latched on, almost as though the pacifier had prepared the kid for it.

He smiled down at his son. His little boy. His baby boy. No Connor wasn’t physically a baby anymore but in so many ways the boy really was.

Connor was innocent. Naïve to the ways of this world. Even after living here for a little over six months.

There were so many things that Connor didn’t know. So many things that he’d always planned to teach his son. So much that he’d planned for his son.

His boy finished the bottle quickly. Angel frowned, Connor must have been hungrier than he’d thought. He’d have to do this more often if his son didn’t start gaining weight soon.

Taking the bottle out, he replaced it with the pacifier, set the bottle to the side of the rocker on the floor and started slowly moving back and forth. Back and forth with his baby boy in his arms.

Fred knew nothing.

Connor was his son. Not Fred’s.

He’d just proved that fact. He’d changed his son, he’d fed his son and now he was rocking the boy through sleep. He knew what he was doing.

Still… some of what Fred had stated made sense, or at least held a small bit of truth to them.

He had told Connor that he didn’t blame the boy, that the kid shouldn’t blame himself. And then, when he’d come back from his three-month stint in the bottom of the ocean he hadn’t kept to his promises. He’d kicked his baby boy out into the cold cruel world.

Connor was too innocent for the world.

He should have never let his baby out into that world.

Well, Connor was here now and wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon – ever again so long as he had anything to say about it. Fred was right about that at least.

The rest of the night passed by calmly. Angel held Connor, rocking his baby slowly, happy to have the boy in his arms. This was almost perfect, if he wasn’t constantly worried about his son then he just might have achieved a moment of perfect happiness. He never would though. For as long as his son was alive he would fret over the boy.

Everything was as perfect as it could get.

Until Fred burst into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

He was ripped from sleep instantly. Opening his eyes he saw the one person whom he never thought he’d see again. And she was mad.

“Mom” he croaked, the soother dropping from his mouth as he instantaneously made to get up. Only he couldn’t.

Fear warring with curiosity he was absolutely still for all of two milliseconds before fear won out.

He started thrashing and fighting. Anything he could get his arms, fists, legs or feet to connect with was fair game. And yet, after ten minutes of this infernal struggle he was still trapped.

What was going on?

“Mom?” he asked nervously. Nothing should be able to hold him down like this.

His restraints tightened causing his breathing to speed up. A part of him desperately wished he hadn’t dropped his… soother? – at least that’s what Fred called it. Another part of him was glad he’d dropped the thing because it was a glaring sign of weakness and he was not weak.

“Relax Connor,” Fred tried to sooth at the same time another voice started shushing him, “Calm down baby”

The voice was familiar. He knew that voice. Why was it calling him baby?

Curiosity won out this time and he looked down to see what was restraining him. There were arms snaked around his waist and chest. They were keeping him pinned against something solid and yet slightly malleable.

Coming up with a, hopefully incorrect, solution he turned his head around.

“Angel?”

It came out weakly. He was weak. He was never to be weak. But then he’d been weak this entire time. He’d called Fred mom, twice. The woman had already told him she wasn’t his mother. He couldn’t get out of Angel’s hold. And to his utter embarrassment the padding Fred always made him wear to bed was wet.

All of this ran through his head in a total of three seconds. Just enough time for Fred to cross the room towards him. Unfortunately it was also just enough time for Angel to realize that Fred was moving forward.

“Connor…” Fred started gaining the boy’s attention immediately.

“What are you doing here Fred?” Angel asked icily, cutting the woman off.

He didn’t understand. Angel was always kind and soft to Fred. Why had the man snapped at Fred? “What’s going on?”

Simultaneously there were two people silencing him.

“Everything’s fine Connor,” Fred soothed, smiling at him, “Why don’t you go shower.”

All while Angel gripped him tighter, “Nothing’s up baby boy; just relax.”

He had tuned Angel out, one of his more amusing habits, and started to get up for that shower. He always had a shower when he woke up.

His plans were halted however when Angel wouldn’t let him up.

“Let me go!” he demanded.

“You’re just fine right where you are baby” Angel said softly.

What was going on? What was he doing in Angel’s arms? On Angel’s lap! Why was Fred being told to leave? Why was Angel being mean to Fred? Why was Fred even here? Why was he in Angel’s room?

“What the f… happened after I fell unconscious last night?”

It was an order. And it demanded an answer. It just didn’t receive the one he’d wanted.

Angel sat him up straighter while never loosening the restraining hold. His vision was quickly filled with an annoyed and a… well he’d figure out that emotion later… Angel. “Where did you learn that word?”

The question posed was calm but held an underlying threat that he knew well. This was closer to the Angel that he was used to dealing with. A man who was always upset with him, who never wanted him.

“What the hell do you…”

“Connor.” Fred interrupted, “Why don’t you go take a shower. Now.”

She looked stressed. He didn’t want her to be stressed.

Sighing he tried to pry Angel’s hands from around his waist. He didn’t want to stress Fred anymore than he already had. The woman had done a lot for him and while she may never want to be his mother he was fairly certain she was still his friend.

“Relax baby” Angel said calmly while taking a hold of his wrists and refusing to let go. “You’re fine right where you are”

“No” He objected.

He couldn’t calm down, he couldn’t stay where he was. He wasn’t safe where he was. Also, he needed to take a shower. Even if it wasn’t just to please Fred. His padding was becoming uncomfortable.

As though the man had read his mind – or more than likely was alerted to the issue when he shifted a little – Angel spoke up. “I’m sure that’s uncomfortable. It’s alright baby. I’ll get you cleaned up.”

He whipped his head around as best he could. “What?”

Angel patted his arm as though to shush him. “Don’t worry. Daddy’ll take care of everything.”

Was this supposed to calm him? Reassure him? It was doing nothing but making his heart beat faster and faster. He wasn’t certain what Angel meant but he had a bad feeling and he most certainly was not going to let Angel bathe him!

His struggles to get free were increased ten fold and yet he still could not manage to get the man off of him. Dammit what was wrong with him! He was the destroyer! Nothing can stop him! Nothing can defeat him!

And yet. Angel seemed to be doing a pretty good job.

“Mom?” he begged.

Yes. He begged. He knew it made him weak but right now this weakness was better than the weakness of being showered by Angel.

He felt it before he heard it. The slow rumbling of Angel’s chest that worked its way up to the man’s throat. Angel had actually growled at Fred.


	7. Chapter 7

The sound ripped it’s way out of his throat before he was even conscious of making it. Didn’t matter. It had the desired effect.

Fred was backing off, giving him a wary look.

Unfortunately. She wasn’t leaving.

“What’s going on?”

That had come from his little boy.

“Shh…” he cooed softly, bouncing his boy slightly while starting to rock again. “Nothing’s wrong”

Connor wasn’t listening to him. His boy started to struggle again.

He tightened his grip around his son slightly and waited it out. Soon enough the struggles died down however it wasn’t because of anything he did.

It was because of her.

“Connor, it’s alright. You’re safe but you need to calm down.”

Connor’s head snapped in Fred’s direction as he ceased his struggles.

“What’s going on?” his boy repeated.

Fred started to take a step closer and he barred his teeth at her over his son’s head. She took the hint and stayed where she was. But that didn’t stop her from talking to his son.

“Everything is fine. Angel just got a little scared last night and is feeling a little overprotective. But I’m sure he’ll let you go soon.”

That last comment was directed at him. He knew this. He tightened his grip a little more.

“He’s not letting go”

That sounded worried. His son shouldn’t be worried.

“You’re fine right where you are baby” he told his son softly.

“He needs to clean up Angel” Fred stated pointedly.

Angel nodded his agreement. Hos son did need to be cleaned up.

A bath would be good for that.

Standing up he adjusted his son in his arms and moved towards the bathroom.

“Let me go!” Connor demanded.

“You’re alright” he tried to assure.

It didn’t work. His boy still struggled.

“Angel” Fred snapped.

He looked behind himself to her. She had followed them. He didn’t want her to follow them.

“Leave” he growled out.

“No”

It was a statement. There was a fire in her eyes that he’d never seen before. He wasn’t sure what to make of it but right now he didn’t care. He just wanted her gone.

“Mom”

He closed his eyes and bit back another growl. His son should not be calling Fred mom. His son should not be begging that woman.

“It’s alright Connor” he heard her sooth.

What irritated him more than anything is that her soothing calmed his son but his soothing didn’t. It wasn’t right. Connor was his son.

“I’m gonna set you on the floor for a minute baby. Just to start the water alright?” he asked calmly.

He loathed to let his boy go but he needed to turn the tap on. Also he had to get Connor undressed. Can’t bathe his son fully clothed now can he?

Connor didn’t struggle so he took it as a good sign. He put the boy down between himself and the tub, making sure he was between his son and the door.

The second he let his son go his boy tried to go to her.

That couldn’t happen.

“No,” he said catching his son by the waist and holding the thrashing one still until all movement ceased.

Connor lay back against him breathing heavily, “You’re exhausted baby, just relax and we’ll get you cleaned up” he instructed.

“Let go of me!” Connor demanded.

“It’s all right Connor” Fred said calmly, “You just need to calm down. You were going to get clean remember?”

“I’m going to clean myself, not let him drown me” Connor exclaimed.

He shook his head, He wasn’t planning on drowning his son; he was giving him a bath. “No one’s drowning you baby.”

“You’re all right Connor, I’m sure Angel will let you go any minute so you can clean yourself” Fred hinted not so subtly.

“No,” he corrected for he was not letting his son bathe himself, the boy was much too little an unsure for that. After all Connor thought that taking a bath was equivalent to drowning. He couldn’t leave his little boy alone.

“Mom” he heard his son beg.

He couldn’t help the growl that ripped itself out of his throat. Low and strong. A warning.

He could see Fred backing off slightly. That was good. He felt his son tense in his arms. That was bad.

“It’s Ok baby” he shushed, bouncing the boy in his arm slightly as he turned off the tap of the now adequately full bathtub.

“M…”

“Calm down Connor” Fred instructed as calmly as she could manage. “Angel he’s eighteen he can bathe himself”

That was pointed at him. He didn’t agree. “He doesn’t even know what a bath is”

“He knows what a shower is”

Again he growled, annoyed at her interference. “He’s my son. I know what I’m doing”

She scoffed. He couldn’t believe it. She was unbelievable but this wasn’t the time to be dealing with her. Right now he had his son to worry about. After Connor was washed, dressed and fed then he could deal with her.

“Get out” he ordered.

“NO!” hos son screamed suddenly struggling again.


End file.
